No longer a life-giver.

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I should be packing and cleaning.

But my heart needs to bleed a bit, and I’ve ignored my heart far too much these past few months.

I sent off a piece of myself today.  The last bit of life I had to offer my children.

My last ounce of breastmilk.

Off it went, zipped up in numerous bags, packed in a brown paper envelope.

Left in the fate of the mail system.

To the doorstep of a women who says she can immortalize it for me.

She will turn it into a keepsake.  A ring that will be the centerpiece of my Mother’s Ring set.

I could get it back in as few as 6 weeks… Likelier that I won’t get it for a year though.

My sorrow is sharp.

The Kraken is weaned, my supply is gone.

My breasts and my body are no longer nourishing or life-giving.

They just are.

And that’s a difficult pill to swallow.

Hello, New Me.  Different Me.  We have a lot to learn about each other in the coming New Year.

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About Domestic Pirate

Hi, my name is Jessica. I am a stay at home momma wench who is addicted to all things Piratey, the internet and cookie dough. If you like any of those things, I think we'll get along just fine.

2 thoughts on “No longer a life-giver.

  1. Sweetest, life-giving Jessica. I am warmed by your prose; I swoon at the poetry you have applied to your grief, to the end of the magical stage of motherhood that some of us have enjoyed. But I must shake my motherly finger at you a bit . . . You are still a life-giver. Especially to your children. Every mother is, but especially creative, bubbly, perky pirate-headed you! Yes, making milk is a heady gig. But the other stuff you make with and for your kids will nourish beyond measure.

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