Parenthood

I Refuse to Put My Phone Down

Maybe that’s a bit extreme.  Maybe instead of “I refuse to put my phone down” it should say “I’m not going to stop capturing memories as often as I can.” Because, I’m forgetting.  I hate to admit it, but there it is. I’m forgetting. I’m forgetting the way Cabin Girl looked as a baby.  Cabin Boy and Mr. Monkey, too. … Read more »

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Cutting Ties

My alarm goes off at an ungodly hour.  With a nursing baby, all sleep is precious.  It seems asinine to willingly wake up before the sun. I gently wake Captain, then quietly walk out to the kitchen to get the coffee brewing for him.  None for me, though.  Not today. I return to the bedroom, pull on my yoga pants… Read more »

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Teachers Should Adopt THIS Kind of Valentine’s Day Celebration

I have never made it secret that I was a weird kid. I spent a lot of after-school time in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th grades crying because I felt like I didn’t have any friends.  One of the friends I did have, used to punch me in the gut.  Looking back now, I understand that a lot of us… Read more »

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It was written for romance, but ‘A Thousand Years’ is far better as a lullaby

Christina Perri wrote A Thousand Years to capture the love story of Edward and Bella in the film Breaking Dawn Part 1. Now, judge me if you must, but I’m a fan of the Twilight Saga.  It was an epic fantasy, and provided a wonderful escape from reality, which is why I read.  I love a few moments each day… Read more »

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Watching Her Walk Away

We butt heads all. the. time.  Cabin Girl and I.  She is her mother’s daughter, with her Aunt’s Leo tenacity, and her daddy’s smarts and penchant for whining.  It is a struggle, daily, to get her to eat the breakfast she requested.  An hour to eat a piece of toast and a bowl of yogurt?  I just don’t understand.  Moving… Read more »

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10 Stages of Infant Breastfeeding

Every baby needs to eat, and whether you breast or bottle feed your little lactose lapper, there is no denying that there are stages of infant mealtime.  Here I list the 10 stages I’ve experienced through breastfeeding 4 babies. 1) YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME AND I’M STARVING TO DEATH AND SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO DIE SO FEEDMENOW! They notify you… Read more »

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I’m putting myself in tech time-out

Time is flying and The Kraken is getting bigger every day. Since she’s my last, I don’t want to miss anything. But I’m stuck in this second nature of taking my phone with me everywhere I go.  Whenever I sit, I grab my phone to check up on what’s happening in the outside world. And a majority of the time,… Read more »

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Birds and Bees… on the Playground?

I think for a majority of us who grew up with parents that didn’t explain sex early on, there is one person we remember as being the one who told us about sex.  Since most people are in school around the time puberty hits, that conversation usually happens as snippets told by an older, ‘wiser’ child on the playground or… Read more »

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5 Simple Ways to Turn Yourself into a Ticking Timebomb of Mamma Rage

Following these easy steps on a daily basis will surely have you ready to pull out your hair and run away with the next traveling circus! Put off showering, again.  That deodorant and body spray, coupled with being splashed during bath time, will work for the 3rd day in a row. Surrender most of your hot meal to your kids,… Read more »

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It’s MY Fault Being an Adult Sucks

So many of us, as adults, tell our kids that they’d better stop wishing they could be big, because being adult is no fun. Whose fault is that? Our priorities are different, sure.  As we grow, making sure people perceive of us as mature members of society slowly but surely edges out things like playing with toy cars, having tea… Read more »

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Veterans Day perspective from a 7 year old.

An interview with Cabin Girl, age 7, about Veterans Day. What does Veterans Day mean to you?  “We’re thanking the people who saved our country.” What do they save our country from?  “From the people who are mean and the people who don’t really like this country and are trying to damage it.” Who do you know that serve(d) our… Read more »

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Sunday Funday: UNDERPANTS!

Mr. Monkey is semi-starting to potty train, so we’ve been putting him in Flips trainers during the day. Basically, it’s a diaper cover with velcro in the front and back, so you can attach the cloth pads that absorb pee, but it has stretchy sides for pulling them up and down.  Like cloth diaper Pullups. Mr. Monkey has also started… Read more »

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Looking Back: 7 weeks with my parents

Remember this post about me moving back in with my parents?  No?  Go ahead and read it, I’ll wait. Good?  Good. What I need to add is that we moved BEFORE the Kraken arrived.  5 days past due we hauled ass across the state.  You can read about that in The Kraken’s birth story, if you like. As an adult,… Read more »

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A Life Challenge

I wrote this post about 2 years ago after our experience circumcising Mr. Monkey.  This isn’t meant to be a pro/anti-circumcision post, but our experience with feeling helpless in a situation, and a request for people to support, not degrade, each other. Captain is circumcised.  I suppose starting there is best, since that’s why I’m in this whole tangle of… Read more »

Posted in Current Events, Empowerment, Parenthood, Relationships, Self Discovery | 4 Comments

It’s Not Just Mommies at War

As a blogger, I read other blogs.  It’s what I do for fun, for inspiration, for connection with other people in similar shoes to mine.  Those blogs are opinionated, told from the view of the blogger, appropriately unapologetic, and I love them. As a follower of blogs of things dear to me heart, I come across a lot of posts… Read more »

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Whimsical Wednesday: Good Things Come in 3s

What’s more exciting than change? If you answered 2 changes, you’d be right. If you answered THREE changes, you’d be a fly on my wall, eavesdropping on the goings-on in the Pirate House.  Sorry if I took a swat at you, you filthy gossip. First, there’s the big blog move.  If you could tell me what you love, hate, could… Read more »

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5 Tips on Surviving Pregnancy as a Couple

Guys, we know you don’t know.  We know you can’t understand the way having a tiny being pressing on all the corners of your abdomen from the inside can feel.  We know you don’t get rushes of inexplicable emotions, or food cravings so intense that you’re tempted to recreate the World of Warcraft freak out.  And we know that it’s… Read more »

Posted in Humor, Parenthood, Relationships | 21 Comments

Theme Thursday: Superheroes; The Real Life Kind

I’m keeping it short and sweet today. I don’t have a lot of opinions about Superheroes.  Sure, I enjoy movies and shows about them, but I’ve never been one to pick a favorite.  Pirates are more my thing.  If you couldn’t tell. But I do believe that there are real life people that embody the idea of what a Superhero… Read more »

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A Week of One

This week Cabin Girl and Cabin Boy are staying with family across the state, so it’s just Mr. Monkey with the Captain and I. Just MM. It is so weird. It’s quiet.  It’s less messy.  It’s more manageable. And my awesome brain decided a while ago that, during this week, I would get shit done. But, I’m vetoing that decision… Read more »

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So THIS is what guilt-free parenting feels like.

Have you guys seen the Orange Rhino Challenge?  In a nutshell, it’s a challenge to stop yelling at your kids. *eyeroll*  Right?  How can you be a parent and not yell?  That’s what parents DO.  It’s like, 90% of the job description. Isn’t it? Here’s the thing: I’m a yeller.  My family of orientation has some anger management issues that… Read more »

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Theme Thursday: Road Trip

Back when Cabin Girl was about 18 months, the Captain was offered an interview for an apprenticeship program across the state.  Since this was the first of several potential trips, we decided to go as a family.  For fun. Our first 4.5 hour road trip.  Over long, dreary stretches of plains and desert, then through two separate winding mountain passes. … Read more »

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My house smells like a sex toy. I swear, it’s not what you think.

You know those romance parties?  Groups of ladies gather together to giggle over naughty euphemisms and freely discuss their sexuality, while snacking on suggestively shaped foods and perusing the latest and greatest pleasure enhancing products out there. I’ve been to a couple. They’re totally fun. No, the Captain and I don’t NEED anything to enhance our bedroom relationship, but sometimes… Read more »

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Booty my kid keeps sticking in his booty

Look.  We’re all pirates here.  We love booty.  We have a house full of crap we don’t need because we LOVE booty. But you know what I don’t love?  When my kid loves his booty SO much, that he thinks the only safe place for it is IN HIS BOOTY! “Why you gotta play me like that, bro?” In the… Read more »

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Someone Order a Maternity Test

Last weekend Cabin Girl performed with her ballet company in the city arts department’s rendition of James and the Giant Peach.  I volunteered backstage, but she has 2 more performances this coming weekend, one of which I get to watch, so expect a full post full of glitter and tutus early next week. Anyway, since I couldn’t watch, and no… Read more »

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Sunscreen and Charcoal

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing. Unless…  …you have boys. Then, they become a happy painting alternative. Until the soap comes into play. Then no one’s having fun anymore. But, we did learn that sunscreen is much harder to wash off than charcoal.  You know… if you get the waterproof kind. (Visited 7 times, 1 visits today)

Posted in Humor, Parenthood | 10 Comments

It’s Not Just a Belly

WARNING:  This post contains bare bellies, women in their skivvies, and partial nudity.   If you are not a fan of the female form, click elsewhere. When I met the Captain I was a smoking, bulimic 17 year old working in an ice cream shop.  I had grown up being taunted about my size, height, skin tone and texture, nose… you… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 18 Comments

I forgive you.

You.  Yes, you.  The Holier-than-Thou, mom of the year runner up.  I forgive you.  For throwing stones at me from your glass house. I don’t pretend to be perfect.  Ever.  I’m actually pretty blunt about my follies as a parent, wife, and housekeeper.  There are things that work for me and mine that you may never consider to try for… Read more »

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A Letter to my Best Friend

My Dearest, Most Cherished Friend, Life is just not fair. The hardworking barely scrape by.The giving are taken advantage of.The loving are demeaned.The free spirited are scoffed at.The things we want most are sometimes out of our reach.  Maybe only for a time, brief or extended, maybe forever… I wish you these things.  Your heart’s desires.I wish I could take away… Read more »

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Family dreams, Gender hopes, and Terror, Anxiety, and Guilt

As many of our friends know, we keep the gender of our babies a surprise until birth.  It’s been a wonderful experience with all of them.  That moment when the announcement happens:“It’s a girl!” echoed by my mom yelling for the rest of my family out in the hall, “IT’S A GIRL!!!”“Here HE is!”“It’s another boy!!” It’s amazing.  It’s something… Read more »

Posted in Depression, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 6 Comments

Learning to let go

The Kraken is at 19 weeks gestation this week.  We’re almost halfway.  Time has been flying and there are so many things I had hoped to have done at this point.  There are still so many plans up in the air. I’m trying to focus on my family.  The kids, Captain, and The Kraken.  I’m trying to keep up with… Read more »

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Dear mom on your iPhone: Seriously, how dare you?

I saw you sigh as you sat down on that bench after your kids went screaming onto the jungle gym, like you actually need a minute of peace to think.  How dare you have your own train of thought.I watched you hand your kid a Happy Meal  instead of bust out a tupperware full of nutritious fruits and vegetables that… Read more »

Posted in Current Events, Empowerment, Parenthood | 10 Comments

I’ve discovered how our parents did it (not THAT ‘did it’)

I know how generations before us kept up the perfect housewife routine, and why they are so confused as to why, as parents today, we just can’t keep up with everything:Their outlet WAS cleaning.I discovered this last night as I folded laundry, in a quiet room, by myself, while Captain was downstairs entertaining the 3 squalling Cabin Kids.  If I was… Read more »

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Reflection: When molehills become mountains and learning to be grateful.

We’ve all heard it.  “Don’t make mountains out of molehills.”  It’s a great idea, in theory.  But when you’re in a moment of frustration and there are nothing but molehills in your path, it becomes almost impossible to see how you will get around the next one. Last night was, possibly, my worst night ever as a parent.  And it’s… Read more »

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The Painful Secret About Being Mom.

This mom-cage I live in is terrifying.  Beautiful, maddening, breathtaking, disastrous, hilarious, chaotic… terrifying. How can I be so lucky and feel so deprived?  Am I spoiled?  Do I just not understand how good I’ve got it? When you can’t go into the bookstore with your children, not only because you don’t have the energy, but just KNOWING what a… Read more »

Posted in Depression, Parenthood, Relationships, Self Discovery | 16 Comments

Quick and Dirty: How much screen time can you eliminate?

I got SO SICK of seeing nothing but the back of Captain’s head this weekend.  90% of our family time is spent with him on the computer or his smart phone, while the kids watch a movie, and I read a book or putter around the house. Being totally honest, during the week, that’s what my kids see of me.  Oh…. Read more »

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Experiment! A pledge to my children.

For a long time we’ve I’ve struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Captain doesn’t care one way or another, as he doesn’t seem to have health issues related to the type and amounts of food he eats.  The kids and I, on the other hand, do have issues.  Gut issues, skin issues, behavioral issues…  Issues that I’ve been in and… Read more »

Posted in Food, Parenthood | 2 Comments

The lazy mom: This century’s brand of feminism?

This is a subject that’s been preying on my consciousness for a while.While I totally agree that being June Cleaver is hardly the norm, nor should it be expected of women today, I feel like we’re quickly sliding in the opposite direction.  Blogs about how few meals are cooked at home,  social media posts about drinking while kids are entertained… Read more »

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I may be an ass, but you will always think twice about carseat safety now.

Car seat safety.   It’s like the ‘shoe shopping’ talk of parenthood.  Someone mentions the new standards and people start to gaze off into the distance dreaming of things like dancing cats. But it’s SERIOUS, people. Oh sure, “I grew up laying in the back window of my parents’ station wagon, and I’m fine!”   Or, “We drove home from the hospital… Read more »

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14 Ways Pregnant Women are like Toddlers

Is that so, you say?  Oh yes, I say. Macaroni and cheese with a side of pb&j and apple juice for lunch, please!  Don’t be stingy with the ketchup! Chances are good they might not make it to the toilet in time. If they can’t find their red shirt and have to wear their yellow shirt instead, you will hear… Read more »

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The Popularity Virus

It’s happened.  Cabin Girl told me this morning that one of her ‘friends’ at school (N) has been telling their classmates that she thinks CG is ugly. Put her in front of a camera and there will be no shortage of ham. People… well, people are mean.  Everyone has unkind thoughts, whether they’re bidden or not.  But little girls?  I’m… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

Am I too late?

We’re working really, really hard to become a healthier family.  The Captain‘s finally interested in Crossfit, which will hopefully make eating clean easier.  We have grains once a day tops, we’ve cut out almost all forms of processed and refined sugars and starches, and we do a lot of things to keep busy away from the t.v. and computer.  I’ve… Read more »

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This is a story…

…about a mom who was at her wit’s end. It was her own fault, really.  She got caught up in being lazy.  Sure, she was working out 3-4 times a week, she was making sure the kids got to school clean and fed, organizing parties and being charitable towards other families, being crafty to make a few extra bucks so… Read more »

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Welcome to Baby Land!

I found out today that one of my friends from WAY back is expecting her first baby.  I’m super excited for her and want to drown her in congratulations and questions, BUT. We aren’t close anymore.  We have minimal interaction, even with the various technologies that make relationships a breeze now a-days. I don’t want her to feel like now… Read more »

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Defining Super Mom

Another rough morning.  Cabin Girl spent 10 minutes in the shower doing who-knows-what and then threw a fit when I told her it was time to get out for the 3rd time because she hadn’t even washed yet!  Cabin Boy #1 is still sick, teething, and cranky and Cabin Boy #2 wouldn’t let me put him down at all.  So… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 3 Comments
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