Self Discovery

The Truth: Be You With BlogU

The theme of BlogU 2016 was Be You With BlogU, and even though it is a conference for bloggers and freelance writers, the takeaway I had from my weekend in Baltimore with all the people who live in my computer was this: With the right tribe, with the right goals, with the right motivation, and with sweat-your-ass-off-effort, you can be… Read more »

Posted in Adventures, Empowerment, Life, Self Discovery | 11 Comments

I only like my body when it cannot be seen.

I talk a big game about being honest but there’s one big thing I’m still struggling with: Body positivity. I know, “You and every other woman on the planet, Jessica.” (Visited 74 times, 1 visits today)

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Brave Enough to be Me

It’s 3:30 a.m. Another night of being too itchy to sleep… it could also be the prednisone I am now taking that is making it impossible for my mind to switch off. If nothing else, I know now that I can function very well, thankyouverymuch, on very little sleep, with the right drugs. I can totally see how people get… Read more »

Posted in Ramblings, Self Discovery | 3 Comments

The Balancing Act That I Suck At

If you’re a follower of my page, you know that I’ve been quiet. There are a lot of things we’re waiting on right now and I’m having a hard time processing it all. I’ve become more active in the blogging community, despite my lack of blogging efforts, and the excitement about this years blogging conferences is becoming rather infectious. I… Read more »

Posted in Ramblings, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

No longer a life-giver.

I should be packing and cleaning. But my heart needs to bleed a bit, and I’ve ignored my heart far too much these past few months. I sent off a piece of myself today.  The last bit of life I had to offer my children. My last ounce of breastmilk. Off it went, zipped up in numerous bags, packed in… Read more »

Posted in Ramblings, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

We are The Village

It’s 5 a.m. A god-awful time to be sitting at an airport gate. An especially early time if you’ve been there with your 4 children since 11 p.m. the night before. If, by chance, your boarding pass and the flight boards reflect different gate numbers, and you have already walked the significant length between the two, you are exponentially more… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Self Discovery | 9 Comments

Where do we go from here?

In the ever evolving chronicles of our family’s journey of the tiny house from hell, we have a big decision to make. But to catch you up: When Captain got this job offer, we lived in Western Washington.  I was pregnant with The Kraken.  We put our house on the market. The kids and I moved in with my parents… Read more »

Posted in Self Discovery | 6 Comments

Going to My 10 Year Reunion

Yep.  I’m going to my 10 year reunion.  For high school.  With people I graduated next to.  Because: Social Media. 10 years ago, I was so freaking happy to be out of high school.  My life ahead of me, my not terrible but not amazing years as a high school student behind me. I was NEVER going back. Reunions?  For… Read more »

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Accept that aging doesn’t diminish spousal attraction

Does age change the attraction you feel for your spouse?  Do you worry about your spouse wishing you looked different? Even though I’m not yet out of my twenties, being a mother of 4 is taking its toll on me.  Mentally, emotionally, and, most notably, physically.  Captain will be 30 this year, and the tolls of hard work and stress… Read more »

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Cutting Ties

My alarm goes off at an ungodly hour.  With a nursing baby, all sleep is precious.  It seems asinine to willingly wake up before the sun. I gently wake Captain, then quietly walk out to the kitchen to get the coffee brewing for him.  None for me, though.  Not today. I return to the bedroom, pull on my yoga pants… Read more »

Posted in Parenthood, Self Discovery | 8 Comments

It was written for romance, but ‘A Thousand Years’ is far better as a lullaby

Christina Perri wrote A Thousand Years to capture the love story of Edward and Bella in the film Breaking Dawn Part 1. Now, judge me if you must, but I’m a fan of the Twilight Saga.  It was an epic fantasy, and provided a wonderful escape from reality, which is why I read.  I love a few moments each day… Read more »

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Ten Things of Thankful, with a Moose

“Join the Ten Things of Thankful community and work with us to nurture an attitude of gratitude. We use the whole weekend to focus on the Good Things in life. Make a list of ten of those wonderful Things. Then share the Wonderfulness with others.” I love this idea.  Maybe it’s because it’s in step with our Unicorns Fart Glitter… Read more »

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Good vs. Great

“Do you ever just get frustrated that you don’t have something you’re great at?  I know I’m good at a lot of things, and, given time and effort, I could be great at them as well…  But, I know myself.  I get bored easily, and what feels fun one week turns into a chore the next.  I am surrounded by… Read more »

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It Starts

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I hope to make it a good one. What the hell am I talking about? I got a gym membership. Whoop-dee-freaking-doo, Jessica, you and every other person on the planet in January.  So what? I have been waiting for this.  Since we moved, I have been checking out… Read more »

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I don’t love my body, and that’s okay.

It’s hard to keep up with all the health and fitness movements that are constantly cycling in and out of popularity.  Yo-yo diets, Thinspo sites, conflicting reports on which foods burn the most fat where.  Diet groups, fitness clubs, television shows… Coupled with media sensationalized images and stories of extreme weight losses/gains, it’s nearly impossible to navigate the path to… Read more »

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Thankful for: The Big 3.

Here it is, the ubiquitous post about gratitude.  It’s the spirit of the season, and though the traditions of Thanksgiving have a controversial background, it doesn’t make the holiday less special for those of us who look forward to it year after year. I could list the million and one things that I’m thankful for throughout the year, but I’d… Read more »

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If I had a million dollars…

Prompt: If you found a million dollars in the morning and had to spend it all by that night, what would you do with it? I like to think I’d be frugal and just take care of the essentials then donate the rest, but I know myself.  I’m a spender.  And, I like nice things. Do I have many nice… Read more »

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We Become

Surround yourself with beauty. Surround yourself with people who make you happy. With people who build you up. Surround yourself with positivity. And you will become; Beautiful, happy, uplifting, positive. But, those of us surrounded by the constant mayhem that comes with having children? The ones who already live with the threat of depression ever on their minds? When the… Read more »

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I’m putting myself in tech time-out

Time is flying and The Kraken is getting bigger every day. Since she’s my last, I don’t want to miss anything. But I’m stuck in this second nature of taking my phone with me everywhere I go.  Whenever I sit, I grab my phone to check up on what’s happening in the outside world. And a majority of the time,… Read more »

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Religion Free Mealtime Prayer

Raising my kids religion free does not mean we don’t crave ritual and prayer.  After staying with my parents for 7 weeks, the Cabin Kids got used to saying Grace at mealtimes, so I came up with an alternative that I am comfortable saying along with them, that doesn’t bring up questions of a faith we don’t embrace. Does your… Read more »

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Missing something

Today was busy.  But it was a good busy. Family breakfast, getting ready for pictures, knitting a baby hat, having pictures taken, sharing lunch, taking a nap, making deviled eggs to take to a birthday party, then going to the party itself. All in all, it was awesome. At the party though, I realized that there’s something I don’t do… Read more »

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The urge to purge: staving off bulimic relapse

We’re trying to be frugal right now.  Trying.  Switched to cloth diapers, didn’t get the advanced cable package, returned to a cash budget to keep our spending in check.  It’s working, for the most part. Until this morning.  When I got a Kohl’s credit card to take a further $93 off of my $320 purchase… Typing that makes me feel… Read more »

Posted in Depression, Self Discovery | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

It’s MY Fault Being an Adult Sucks

So many of us, as adults, tell our kids that they’d better stop wishing they could be big, because being adult is no fun. Whose fault is that? Our priorities are different, sure.  As we grow, making sure people perceive of us as mature members of society slowly but surely edges out things like playing with toy cars, having tea… Read more »

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Looking Back: 7 weeks with my parents

Remember this post about me moving back in with my parents?  No?  Go ahead and read it, I’ll wait. Good?  Good. What I need to add is that we moved BEFORE the Kraken arrived.  5 days past due we hauled ass across the state.  You can read about that in The Kraken’s birth story, if you like. As an adult,… Read more »

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FMF: Truth, from a pathological liar.

As a kid and adolescent I was a pathological liar.  I would lie about everything.  And it was stupid.  I see it now, but at the time, it was the only way I could get/do/be what I wanted. As I grew, I realized it wasn’t the way to go.  Trying to remember what I told to whom became so daunting… Read more »

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A Life Challenge

I wrote this post about 2 years ago after our experience circumcising Mr. Monkey.  This isn’t meant to be a pro/anti-circumcision post, but our experience with feeling helpless in a situation, and a request for people to support, not degrade, each other. Captain is circumcised.  I suppose starting there is best, since that’s why I’m in this whole tangle of… Read more »

Posted in Current Events, Empowerment, Parenthood, Relationships, Self Discovery | 4 Comments

NaBloPoMo

Have you heard of NaNoWriMo?  I have, though I don’t know much about it. The jist?  Through the month of November, you set yourself a goal and you WRITE. It’s a goal of mine, to participate in NaNoWriMo… eventually. Today, I discovered NaBloPoMo.  NaNoWriMo for bloggers. Despite everything we’ve got going on (settling into a new town, unpacking into a… Read more »

Posted in Self Discovery | 2 Comments

Finding My Place

I’ve never seen myself as shy.  Socially awkward?  A little.  But, somehow, I have always managed to make friends in new situations. When I had my daughter I was the only one of my friends having kids.  We didn’t stop being friends, we were all just on different paths, which made it hard to hang out and, sometimes, connect.  Where… Read more »

Posted in Relationships, Self Discovery | 6 Comments

Five Minute Friday: Grace

Grace is a word I always associate with the prayer my family always said before dinner growing up.  It’s a symbol of the faith my parents wanted us kids to grow up with, but something I never fully grasped.  For a while, I hated grace.  I hated having to thank some unknown being for the food that my parents worked… Read more »

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Look out Mom and Dad!!!

I’m coming home! Yep.  This happily married, 27 year old woman with almost 4 kids is about to move back into her parents’ basement. Once The Kraken arrives, we’ll be making the official move.  Without Captain. What the what what now? In case you aren’t in the loop, here’s how the story goes… When we moved to Western Washington, it… Read more »

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Okay Universe, it’s time we had a Come To Jesus.

According to my chiropractor, I handle stress well.  I’ve always known that I thrive a bit in chaos, but having a thermal scan show that my stress receptors are well within a green box was a welcome confirmation. NO, I don’t LIKE chaos.  I just seem to be able to keep my shit together in the midst of it.  Captain… Read more »

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A Place of Serenity

Do you have a safe space?  A zone in which, even with kids surrounding you, you just feel good?  I do. It’s the shower. I know, I know, it’s nothing amazing, or glamorous.  Some days it’s not as clean as I’d like it to be, other days it runs out of hot water much faster than I’d like.  But there… Read more »

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Whimsical Wednesday: Good Things Come in 3s

What’s more exciting than change? If you answered 2 changes, you’d be right. If you answered THREE changes, you’d be a fly on my wall, eavesdropping on the goings-on in the Pirate House.  Sorry if I took a swat at you, you filthy gossip. First, there’s the big blog move.  If you could tell me what you love, hate, could… Read more »

Posted in Parenthood, Self Discovery | 1 Comment

Being Inked is My Superpower

I’m guest posting over on The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingersnaps today!  She is celebrating her 10,000th blog view with a week of guest posts from some pretty fun-tastic bloggers, and I am so lucky to be included! On to the goods! Tattoos.  Do you have them?  Love them?  Hate them?  Judge them? See what I’ve got to say… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

So THIS is what guilt-free parenting feels like.

Have you guys seen the Orange Rhino Challenge?  In a nutshell, it’s a challenge to stop yelling at your kids. *eyeroll*  Right?  How can you be a parent and not yell?  That’s what parents DO.  It’s like, 90% of the job description. Isn’t it? Here’s the thing: I’m a yeller.  My family of orientation has some anger management issues that… Read more »

Posted in Parenthood, Self Discovery | 1 Comment

Double Whammy; The news that shook me out of my SAD diet stupor.

Being pregnant is hard.  Being food conscious is hard, too.  Being pregnant AND food conscious?  SUCKS.My body has been craving simple carbs like mad.  Know what’s full of simple carbs?  Crap.  Conventional, boxed, overly processed CRAP.  In a battle between hormones, sciatic pain, pelvic pain, and food cravings, the cravings are the easiest to take care of.So instead of being… Read more »

Posted in Food, Self Discovery | 7 Comments

9 Years of Reconciling Grief and Joy

9 years ago today, something awful happened. Because of that something awful, 9 years ago today, something extraordinary happened, too. 9 years ago, I had graduated high school.  I had been flirting with this amazing guy that I worked with, and his interest seemed reciprocated.  I had some awesome friends that I would miss terribly, leaving them behind to finish… Read more »

Posted in Relationships, Self Discovery | 9 Comments

It’s Not Just a Belly

WARNING:  This post contains bare bellies, women in their skivvies, and partial nudity.   If you are not a fan of the female form, click elsewhere. When I met the Captain I was a smoking, bulimic 17 year old working in an ice cream shop.  I had grown up being taunted about my size, height, skin tone and texture, nose… you… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 18 Comments

I forgive you.

You.  Yes, you.  The Holier-than-Thou, mom of the year runner up.  I forgive you.  For throwing stones at me from your glass house. I don’t pretend to be perfect.  Ever.  I’m actually pretty blunt about my follies as a parent, wife, and housekeeper.  There are things that work for me and mine that you may never consider to try for… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Relationships, Self Discovery | 30 Comments

Mud Runs and Mom Proms

For Mother’s Day, I get family pictures and some random thing that hubby heard me say I’d like or need.  Usually, it’s not something for ME, but for the house/family in general.  I don’t mind, because he doesn’t do random standby stuff, but occasionally I’d like something that’s sole purpose was to make me happy. This Mother’s Day, I got… Read more »

Posted in Humor, Picture Post, Self Discovery | 1 Comment

Just Be – About Me, the Color Purple, and Why I Won’t Tone It Down Anymore

I will be 27 in a few weeks. I know it’s just a drop in the bucket compared to some, and to others it seems like the best years of my life have passed me by.  But there is just one thing that is becoming ever-more clear to me as I get older, experience new things, and raise my children:… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Relationships, Self Discovery | 4 Comments

Family dreams, Gender hopes, and Terror, Anxiety, and Guilt

As many of our friends know, we keep the gender of our babies a surprise until birth.  It’s been a wonderful experience with all of them.  That moment when the announcement happens:“It’s a girl!” echoed by my mom yelling for the rest of my family out in the hall, “IT’S A GIRL!!!”“Here HE is!”“It’s another boy!!” It’s amazing.  It’s something… Read more »

Posted in Depression, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 6 Comments

Dear Girl

I hope that, someday, your concern for someone else, even a total stranger, is greater than your concern for your image.  That you find the humility to accept help when you need it.That you respond to the question “Are you okay?” with grace, as opposed to a sneer.You are our future, Dear Girl.  The future of myself, and my children.  And… Read more »

Posted in Current Events, Self Discovery | 1 Comment

Learning to let go

The Kraken is at 19 weeks gestation this week.  We’re almost halfway.  Time has been flying and there are so many things I had hoped to have done at this point.  There are still so many plans up in the air. I’m trying to focus on my family.  The kids, Captain, and The Kraken.  I’m trying to keep up with… Read more »

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In defense of being self-centered.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about adult relationships.  We went to a birthday party the other night and I realized that I. Am. So. Boring.  And can be perceived as very self-centered.   Several years ago someone told me that I wasn’t the type of person she was interested in being friends with.  There were a lot of other things… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Relationships, Self Discovery | 5 Comments

Reflection: When molehills become mountains and learning to be grateful.

We’ve all heard it.  “Don’t make mountains out of molehills.”  It’s a great idea, in theory.  But when you’re in a moment of frustration and there are nothing but molehills in your path, it becomes almost impossible to see how you will get around the next one. Last night was, possibly, my worst night ever as a parent.  And it’s… Read more »

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The Painful Secret About Being Mom.

This mom-cage I live in is terrifying.  Beautiful, maddening, breathtaking, disastrous, hilarious, chaotic… terrifying. How can I be so lucky and feel so deprived?  Am I spoiled?  Do I just not understand how good I’ve got it? When you can’t go into the bookstore with your children, not only because you don’t have the energy, but just KNOWING what a… Read more »

Posted in Depression, Parenthood, Relationships, Self Discovery | 16 Comments

Quick and Dirty: How much screen time can you eliminate?

I got SO SICK of seeing nothing but the back of Captain’s head this weekend.  90% of our family time is spent with him on the computer or his smart phone, while the kids watch a movie, and I read a book or putter around the house. Being totally honest, during the week, that’s what my kids see of me.  Oh…. Read more »

Posted in Parenthood, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

The Popularity Virus

It’s happened.  Cabin Girl told me this morning that one of her ‘friends’ at school (N) has been telling their classmates that she thinks CG is ugly. Put her in front of a camera and there will be no shortage of ham. People… well, people are mean.  Everyone has unkind thoughts, whether they’re bidden or not.  But little girls?  I’m… Read more »

Posted in Empowerment, Parenthood, Self Discovery | 2 Comments

Resolution Schmezolution

It’s almost that time again and I’m ready to field the ‘What’s your resolution’ question: I’m not making any. Oh, I have goals, to be sure.  But I’m not going to limit those goals to 2013.  I will keep on keeping on.  A few years ago I made the resolution to stop sacrificing my happiness and sanity for the sake… Read more »

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