I am heartbroken and PISSED and this is likely to be slightly incoherent and rambley.
A third child has been found dead thanks to the book “To Train Up a Child.”
I am not coming to you from a place of perfection. It is a struggle every. single. day for me to parent from a place of love rather than frustration. We have our battles of will, and more often than I care to admit I resort to threatening my kids with a spanking. 99% of the time we can avoid it, but there are times… Times when I feel like everything else has failed me and this child just needs a good swat on the butt to make them understand. To make them toe the line. I hate myself for that feeling.
No amount of physical pain can make someone’s brain understand anything except pain and fear.
Beating a child until he/she submits to your will is not parenting.
A child in his shell is not a child, but a voiceless creature. Being brought up to be walked upon, or fear the consequences.
“…police photographed a 15-inch length of tubing lying on the parents’ bed next to a children’s book about a frog and a toad, which authorities say 7-year-old Lydia had been reading from when she mispronounced a word, which led to the beatings that continued over two days.”
Children are not meant to be broken.
“Sean’s 9-year-old brother was beaten so badly he limped, a prosecutor said. Bruises marred Sean’s backside, too, doctors found. Sean died after being wrapped so tightly in blankets he suffocated.”
Nor are they meant to be beaten.
Children are not animals, and even animals are protected by law from abuse.
Swatting a 6 month old infant is unacceptable. There is NOTHING for them to learn from you at that point aside from fear.
Training a baby not to leave a blanket lest they want to be whipped is disgusting. It is not showing them where they are safe and loved, it is enforcing a fear of exploration and independence, which is the whole nature of childhood.
Restraining a child so you can beat him/her until he/she is broken is making that child learn to fear those that are supposed to love and care for them.
If you feel like the only way you can raise a child is with the threat and fear of being beaten with plastic piping behind you, then you need help.
Not only are you teaching that child to fear physical abuse should they say no, but you are showing them that it is acceptable to use violent force against those who say no to them.
How many children are there intentionally being starved, showered in hoses despite having clean, warm water, knowing that should they push the boundaries (as it is important for children to do as they develop) they will be beaten and physically restrained until they adhere? How many first time parents are coming across this book, not knowing that there are other, better ways to raise their children with a respect for their parents and the rules?
Even one is too many.
Please join me in getting this book removed from Amazon. Share the stories of Sean, Lydia, and now Hana. Grab Muse Mama’s button for your blog.
Please. Help be a voice for the children who are having theirs beaten out of them.