From the Elf Sidelines

toelfornottoelf

I feel like I’m watching an epic battle… or a ridiculously overpaid sports game…  or an insidiously petty cat-fight.

The Elf on the Shelf (EotS) is becoming the epicenter of the holiday’s version of mommy wars.

It’s no longer SAHMs vs Working Moms…

It’s EotS moms vs Anti-EotS Moms.

toelfornottoelf

Really people?  Seriously?  Do we have nothing better to worry about?

“Those EotS moms are making me look bad!”

“Those Anti-EotS moms don’t want to give their children joy!”

“Don’t project your ideas of holiday magic on me!”

“Quit being a scrooge!”

Ugh.

Maybe it’s because I’m coming from a place of indifference… The EotS sidelines if you will.  From my camping chair on the calm side of the white paint, there is only one thing I can say…

Y’all look ridiculous.

Also, I need more marshmallows for my cocoa.

Early Thanksgiving from a Tiny Kitchen: Part 1

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We’re having an early Thanksgiving dinner with Captain’s dad tomorrow, since we’ll be out of town for the actual holiday.

This will be the first holiday we’ve celebrated with him since Cabin Girl was a baby.

He’s been a bachelor for years, self sufficient, proud, and a pretty good cook.

Needless to say, the people pleaser in me is practically desperate to knock his socks off.

This year, I don’t have the arsenal of a huge kitchen with all my gadgets, 2 refrigerators, and a gorgeous wall oven behind me.  I have a tiny kitchen with possibly 10 square feet of counter space, a single, smaller than standard wall oven, and a single, smaller than standard fridge.

With the elimination of space to spread out all of the various cooking projects I’ll need to undertake tomorrow, I’m taking advantage of time instead. pumpkin

Last night I put a chicken in the crockpot with diced onion, some celery and spices.  Not only does it eliminate the need to cook up lunch for a few days (I love me some cold chicken), but now I have the broth I’ll need for the dressing, gravy, and potatoes.

Today I baked up a pie pumpkin (the only one I managed to snag out of my garden before we moved) and turned it into one of the ugliest gluten free pumpkin pies ever.  But, from the tiny sampling I scraped off the foil, it is deeeelicious.  Baking from scratch is the schiznit, yo.

I cleaned and seasoned the seeds from the pumpkin with cinnamon and granulated coconut nectar, then roasted them for a bit as an extra little snackadoo.

I diced up red potatoes and stuck them in the fridge, peeled, diced and boiled a sweet potato, which is also waiting in the fridge, and boiled another sweet potato and turned it into the filling for a chocolate sweet potato pie… only I’m going to serve it more like a mousse so I don’t have to deal with making another hideous pie crust.

I diced up the celery and onion and baked a loaf of gluten free bread for the dressing.

Set the turkey out to thaw.

And did 2 loads of dishes.  I hate doing dishes.

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First thing tomorrow I plan on making my own pumpkin spice creamer to add to the several cups of coffee I intend to down.  Then, the dressing will go in the crockpot.  The turkey will go in the oven.  I will make a cranberry persimmon sauce.  The red potatoes will be reheated in broth and then mashed.  The sweet potato will be doused in butter, honey, and pecans and set to warm in the oven as the turkey rests and gets carved.  I’ll cheat and use whipped topping out of a bucket, mostly because Captain loves it.

My father-in-law will bring rolls and veggies.

All the while I will pretend to really enjoy the sparkling cider I’m drinking, since pumping and dumping doesn’t really work for me and The Kraken gets an upset tummy when I drink wine.  And I’m hoping against hope that it will turn out.  Because this is my first ever attempt at preparing a Thanksgiving meal on my own.

I’ll update you with Part 2 tomorrow.

Do you have any turkey tips for me?

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