There are a lot of sayings out there about love. How terrifying it is. How great it is. How much work it is. How simple. How complex. How it fills you up and leaves you empty at the same time.
All of them? True. Undeniably, inexplicably true. How can so many adjectives apply to the same thing?
When I met Captain, I had just come out of a semi-serious relationship of 2 years. When he walked in the door all of my insides seemed to flip upside down and inside out. I knew; He was special.
I fell in love with him, hard and fast. The feelings I had for him began to permeate every bit of my heart, mind, and soul. Every fiber of my being, there is now a piece of him in it. Thinking about being without him? Unimaginable. Considering it makes me physically ill.
When we started having kids, that didn’t change. I don’t love him more than I love my kids, but I love him different.
Our relationship came first, and it always will. A day will come when our kids leave to start their own families. To find their own spouse that will become their entire universe, and I hope they do find them as early as Captain and I found each other. But when they leave, we will be left with just each other, and I want that time to be just as passionate as our time before kids.
He is the most important person in my life. My kids are important, yes, but we share the love and responsibility for them. If he were to leave I would be left alone in that burden. I would have to leave my kids in the hands of someone else every day so I could work. If he were to leave I would lose my biggest champion. I would lose my best friend.
So he is my priority.
Oh, I don’t leave the baby screaming so I can rub his feet, but there are a few things I try to do as often as possible (and that lately I need to do more of) to show him that, despite all the chaos, he is the most important person in my life.
Bring him his coffee. (If I’m up at the same time.)
Make him a hot breakfast. (Again, if I’m awake.)
Help make his lunch.
Send him a text or two letting him know I’m thinking about him, and that I appreciate him.
Make sure he gets a half hour of uninterrupted time after he gets home from work to wind down and shower off the day.
Serve some of his favorite meals rather than kid friendly ones.
Give him back rubs/head rubs while we’re watching tv.
Ensure he has clean laundry.
Yes, a lot of it is gender stereotypical stuff, but we’re a stereotypical family. We share the duties of some things (i.e: He helps me with dishes because I HATE them, and we fold laundry together), but for the most part it is my job to keep the house running smoothly while he brings home the bacon. Making our home a welcoming place for him to come to after he works a long day to take care of us financially is one of the ways I take care of him.
Without him, I wouldn’t have my beautiful family.
Without him, I could very well still be on a path of self destruction.
Without him, I wouldn’t get butterflies in my stomach every single day.
Without him, I wouldn’t know what it’s like to be chosen as someone worth loving every day.
He is my most important person. My special someone. My person. We dream of growing old and grey together. After the kids are gone and busy with their own families, he is the one I will spend the rest of my days with.
He is my Captain, and I will always be grateful for him.