Plus my very own tale of embarrassment.
When I told Captain that I had been given the opportunity to read and review a book called I Just Want to Be Alone, he raised his eyebrows in a look that clearly said, “Oh, REALLY?”
So I had to quickly explain that I didn’t want to be alone (totally a lie), but the premise of the book was a collection of stories from some fabulous lady bloggers about the favorite men in their lives.
He may have muttered something about Man-bashing at this point.
Which is, honestly, sort of what I expected.
There was one piece that explained why never having a spouse sounded like a pretty sweet deal, and really, who doesn’t long to have the bed all to themselves on occasion?
The rest, however, were wonderful, honest, open stories that really highlighted the challenges different couples face and embody.
On the few occasions I was gut-rolling laughing out loud (I’m looking at you Kristen (Life on Peanut Layne) and Bethany (I Love Them the Most When They’re Sleeping)) Captain would look over, realize I was reading my man-bashing book, and turn away, shaking his head, curiosity unfulfilled.
There were stories of engagement, pre-wedding jitters, and DIY projects gone wrong, and they all did such an incredible job of showcasing the unique bond each of these couples had, that it inspired me to share a story of Captain and I.
Mostly, it’s a story of how Captain should have run away screaming. He must really believe it when he says I’m awesome though…
We had been dating for a whole two weeks. I had freshly moved out of my parent’s house, giving me the freedom to stay the night wherever I wanted, and Captain was still staying with his mom, taking over the entire basement as his bedroom/media room. Captain and I weren’t having sex at this point (I know, be in awe of our willpower for another week) so overnight stays were filled with sickly sweet cuddling and smooches, instead of sweat and heavy petting.
We stayed up late, cuddling in his bed, watching Harry Potter movies until we passed out.
I’m going to drop a little foreshadowing on you now… Have you ever had a dream that was so vivid that you just knew it was really happening? For instance, you need to pee NOW, so you hunt down a toilet, and the feeling of relief is so real…
Oh yes. THAT.
2 weeks into our relationship, no sex, and binge watching Harry Potter, and Captain had me awkwardly shaking him awake saying, “Um… I think I drank too much water before we went to sleep.”
Instead of doing what I would expect from any guy of his hotness status, i.e. Laughing, telling me to GTFO, then mocking me through any avenue he could find to publicly announce my bed-wetting status, he sleepily said, “Oh.”
We got up, stripped the sheets, and threw them in the wash with my pants and underwear. He lent me a pair of sleeping shorts and we snuggled up on the couch for the rest of the night.
So, dear Mother-In-Law of mine, now you know why the bed was stripped and we were sleeping on the couch when you peeked in to announce you were heading off to work the next morning.
Lucky for Captain (and me, let’s face it), it was a fluke occurrence, and the only bed-wetters we deal with now are our kids.
Mine isn’t the only bedwetting tale to come out as a result of this anthology, but you’ll just have to read the book yourself to experience the other, and much more hilarious, one! And, while my husband is not effortlessly thin (he’s a sympathy weight gainer), doesn’t take on major DIY projects (without a considerable amount of
nagging reminding), and will pop his own zits, there was something in each story these amazing ladies told that I could relate to and empathize with.
Though some stories were tinged with sadness (my heart still aches for Courtney (Our Small Moments) and Kathy (Kissing the Frog)), they all have the humorous bent I have come to know and love from those associated with Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat. I recommend that anyone with a spouse, serious boyfriend, room mate, or companion pet that fills in for any of the latter get their hands on this anthology.
And, lucky for you, it’s available on Amazon!